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Thread: Tales of Taukus

  1. #1
    If it isn't stock, it's modded! slaveofconvention's Avatar
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    Default Tales of Taukus

    Just thought I'd share a dog story or two about the mad hound my wife and I call Taukus...

    This is Taukus and Hemi - you might have seen them in my worklogs.



    Taukus got his name by never shutting up when he was a pup - my wife Beth thought he was trying to talk us to death - Hemi - well she purrs so loudly, it sounds like an engine....

    You may think he looks pretty big - well your average German Shepherd Dog gets to about 38-43 kilos (84-95 pounds) - last time he was weighed, he was just over 60 (132 pounds) at 18 months and I swear he's bigger now than he was then - there's NO fat on him - well no unhealthy fat - the vet tells me he's in perfect shape etc so nothing to worry about - he's just bloody huge!

    Apparently, the German Shepherd (and he's pure-breed - I have a 5 generation pedigree certificate for him) are the 3rd smartest breed of dog - behind only Border Collies and Poodles - Taukus bucks the trend - he's dumb as a post (unless he wants to be then you see flashes of intelligence).

    Story 1 - the Delivery Man....

    We were living in an annex to a big mansion style house - I looked after the place - and paid no rent in return. Our front door was actually on the back of the house, and we had a gated drive which went down the side and around the back to our door. I'd estimate the drive was probably 70 yards from the gate to the front door. Just inside the door were the stairs going up to our apartment - there was half a flight straight up from the door, then a horizontal section across, then the second half doubling back on the first half. You could lean down on the landing between the two half-flights and just peer under the ceiling and see the front door.

    One morning when I was at work some poor guy came to deliver a package - knowing me it was probably some kind of puter/modding part - anyway - he let himself in the gate and walked around and knocked on the door. Taukus raced down the stairs, barking like he was possessed (which he still does if anyone knocks) followed relatively closely by my wife. Half way down, she leant over and took a look to see who it was, and saw the dog jumping at the door and this poor delivery guy with a look of sheer terror on his face pinned against the rail opposite the door (there was a disabled accessible ramp with a handrail along the front of the house). As she came a little further down the stairs, Taukus decided to show off his new trick, and turned his attention to the door handle - both paws on the handle and he can open the door by carefully shuffling back on his hind legs... doesn't matter if the door opens in or out - like I said once in a while, he's smart lol. The delivery guy took off like his worst nightmare was an inch from his heels, closely followed by Taukus - by the time my wife caught up with them, the delivery guy was outside the gate, still looking utterly terrified and the dog was running back and forth in front of the gates doing nothing at all to soothe his fears lol.

    The funny thing is - he dog is as soft as they come - he loves people, doesn't care if you're a stranger or not and while he is verbally very territorial, if you were brave enough to actually enter the property, he'd just play with you - there's really no danger in him, other than when he's excited, he occasionally forgets he isn't allowed to jump... 60+ kilo of dog jumping up can knock you seriously off-balance...

    Beth explained to the guy that he had nothing to worry about but I don't think he really cared about anything coming out of her mouth - he was way too concerned about bits of him ending up IN Taukus's....

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  2. #2
    If you can't hack it, you don't own it! Oneslowz28's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tales of Taukus

    GLad you decided to post these. I have been wanting to read them since you told me about them.

  3. #3
    Sunshine Flavored Lollipops Zephik's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tales of Taukus

    "...dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!"

    That has to be the cutest picture I've seen all day.
    People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it might be true. People’s heads are full of knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true. People are stupid; they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool.

  4. #4
    If it isn't stock, it's modded! slaveofconvention's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tales of Taukus

    Quote Originally Posted by Oneslowz28 View Post
    GLad you decided to post these. I have been wanting to read them since you told me about them.
    Man of my word and all that lol

    Quote Originally Posted by Zephik View Post
    "...dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!"

    That has to be the cutest picture I've seen all day.
    She beats HIM up.... That's how dangerous and aggressive he is lol...
    As it happens, I take him to work with me when I work nightshifts - I'm told that the cat is a nightmare the entire evening - she doesn't like it at all when he isn't home...

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  5. #5
    I got rid of my floppy disks Xpirate's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tales of Taukus

    Delivery guy was terrified because he has no clue what kind of personality your dog has. I have friend at work who trains his German Shepherds to attack people.

    When I delivered pizza, the only dogs that ever bit me were owned by people who said, "Oh don't worry, he won't bite." I'm sure that their animals are nice most of the time. But when someone is holding food that is composed of sausage, bacon, and other kinds of meat that are emanating a strong smell, they get crazy.

  6. #6
    Administrator OvRiDe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tales of Taukus

    Quote Originally Posted by Xpirate View Post
    But when someone is holding food that is composed of sausage, bacon, and other kinds of meat that are emanating a strong smell, they get crazy.
    Lol.. this totally popped into my head when I read that!


  7. #7
    Yuk it up Monkey Boy! Airbozo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tales of Taukus

    Quote Originally Posted by Xpirate View Post
    Delivery guy was terrified because he has no clue what kind of personality your dog has. I have friend at work who trains his German Shepherds to attack people.

    When I delivered pizza, the only dogs that ever bit me were owned by people who said, "Oh don't worry, he won't bite." I'm sure that their animals are nice most of the time. But when someone is holding food that is composed of sausage, bacon, and other kinds of meat that are emanating a strong smell, they get crazy.
    Great picture...

    I love German Shepherds.

    The inlaws have a purebred straight from Germany. Only takes commands in German and ONLY if you have been trained as one of the handlers. (have to know the secret handshake) He is ~140lbs and is one of the best mannered dogs I have ever seen. Unless you mess with the kids.
    "...Dumb all over, A little ugly on the side... "...Frank Zappa...

  8. #8
    If it isn't stock, it's modded! slaveofconvention's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tales of Taukus

    Story 2 - Friends of the Earth....

    Sitting in the house one day, about a year ago when there's a knock at the door. As per usual, Taukus goes nuts jumping around and barking - this is something which is a real bane and nothing we do seems to be able to prevent it - we're now at the stage where we CAN stop it once it starts, but we can't stop him doing it in the first place.
    Anyway, I go to the door and grab him by the collar and there are two guys there - well one about 5 feet from the door, and one at the bottom of the drive - I'm guessing they both heard Taukus and one was feeling a little braver than the other heh. At this point the dog is all but choking himself as he's pulling hard enough on his collar that his front legs are a good foot off of the floor...

    So the conversation went something like this....

    Friends Of the Earth Guy : Hi, we're from Friends of the Earth and we're in the area....
    Me: Sorry, I'm not interested.
    F O T E G: Well I only need a couple of minutes to tell you about....
    Me: Listen, I'm not interested - I don't want to waste your time or mine thanks.
    F O T E G: I understand but if you'll just let me explain....
    Me: I can let go...

    He left... quickly

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  9. #9
    I got rid of my floppy disks Xpirate's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tales of Taukus

    Quote Originally Posted by slaveofconvention View Post
    He left... quickly
    And that is what the big dogs are good for.

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