unsolicited coworker friend requests

[luciusad2004]

Just curious how you guys would handle a constant stream of unsolicited friend requests from coworkers on social networking sights such as Facebook. I don't mind coworkers friending me if it's someone I actually know and talk to, but I've been finding lately that I'm getting this massive flood of friend requests from everyone in my facility, many of whom i wouldn't be able to name or tell you anything about. Is it appropriate to simply just deny the friend request an leave it at that? I'm not particularly graceful when dealing with other people and social situations.

Any thoughts and opinions?
I know a lot of people are of the opinion that coworkers shouldn't be friended at all. Maybe I invited this problem by friending coworkers in the first place.

[PartyLikeARockstar]

I've heard of people getting fired over crap like this.

[luciusad2004]

I've heard of people getting fired over crap like this.

???
Over simply having facebook connections to coworkers or for not accepting requests?

I quickly learned not to talk about work on facebook after my coworkers started friending me. I had an incident were I was complaining online about a coworker who quite liberally marks down merchandise that shouldn't be marked down. I complained that she should "stop giving away" merchadise" and It somehow got back to my stores loss prevention team who then started asking me questions about it. There is no room for hyperbole on the internet. Then I stopped posting about work.

[Munty]

I think people get fired due to posting stupid remarks about their jobs/bosses/coworkers etc. Who you decide to be friends with is your business but if for example you and a colleague are having a public feud on Facebook and it could reflect badly on the company. Well then hell yeah the boss can pull you into the office over it...

My advice would be to establish a firm line between 'friend' and 'colleague'. You say you may have prompted the difficulty by adding some of the people you work with but if the people you added are genuine acquaintances outside of work as well as inside then that's fine. Simply ignore any requests from people you don't categorise as friends and while you're at it delete anyone you may have already added who doesn't fit the bill too.

End of the day you can't upset them if they don't really know you in the first place. There are some very sad, lonely people in the world who think popularity comes from x amount of facebook friends and the fact that they don't know and have never met most of them doesn't seem to matter.

Should all come down to common sense at the end of the day, if they're your friends add them, if not ignore them. If they ask why (very unlikely if you don't already know them to talk to) then tell them you'll accept their friend request when they take you for a beer, watch the dog over your holiday and listen to you talk about your marital problems. Once they jump through the right hoops then they earn the right to be friends. You don't need to add as many people as possible to feel 'liked' though and they shouldn't either.

[PartyLikeARockstar]

I meant more along the lines of that.

[luciusad2004]

Thanks for the advice, maybe I'll trim down my friend list some. Facebook makes things to complicated lol. If it wasn't the only way most of my friends keep in touch I'd get rid of the damn thing. Hell, my mother doesn't even call me anymore, she just messages me on facebook. What happened to society.

[blaze15301]

there has been a few cases where someone says something about work on their face book wall and the next day the boss finds out and you get fired. perfectly legal to.

[Luke122]

I agree.. the "friend" and "colleague" line needs to be very firm.

[Oneslowz28]

Facebook is for friends. Linkedin is for coworkers.

I am lucky though, only one of the people I work with even owns a PC.

[SXRguyinMA]

I'm friends with my boss on FB, but then again I've known him since I was 4 or 5, so he's basically a friend. :D

[Airbozo]

Thanks for the advice, maybe I'll trim down my friend list some. Facebook makes things to complicated lol. If it wasn't the only way most of my friends keep in touch I'd get rid of the damn thing. Hell, my mother doesn't even call me anymore, she just messages me on facebook. What happened to society.

This is funny.

I am in the same situation. Most of my family and in-laws don't use the phone or email anymore, just facebook. Problem is I don't have a facebook account. Last time we saw them, everyone was talking about how great it was to see everyone at their party and we were sitting there dumbfounded when we were chastised for not showing up. I mentioned that it was impossible for us to show up to an event we knew nothing about.

I would personally not friend anyone on any social networking site that I would not consider a close friend. Especially someone from work.

[msmrx57]

I would personally not friend anyone on any social networking site that I would not consider a close friend. Especially someone from work.

This.

I have 3 people that are on my friends list from work. First one we get along great and have a lot in common. Second one is a friend of my wife and we were friends before we worked together. Last one after talking at work for a couple years come to find out we have a lot of mutual friends from when we were younger and even remember being at some the same parties.

[x88x]

My general rule of thumb is that if I don't consider them a friend outside facebook, there's no reason why I should add them as a friend on facebook. That goes for coworkers as well random people out of nowhere. And like someone said, if they don't know you well enough for you to consider them an actual friend, they're probably not going to get all that upset if you don't approve their friend request.

[farlo]

i leave them in accept or deny purgatory.

[x88x]

i leave them in accept or deny purgatory.

I suppose you could say I do that most of the time as well...but that's because I usually don't log onto my account for months on end. :P It does help that most people can't even see my account though. :whistler:

[luciusad2004]

lol I can't stand seeing requests pile up. I have to clean them out eventually. My rule of thumb is, if I can't decide after a few days to a week... i probably don't really want to accept them.

[diluzio91]

2 facebook pages? one you let people frined you on that you dont pay attention to that acts like a decoy, and one that is only for people you talk to.

[BuzzKillington]

I say it's just facebook, why not accept them? You never know, it may help break the ice and they'll turn into actual friends. In my opinion, it's always good to have as many people in good standings as possible. If you deny/ignore them they may write you off and suddenly you start having awkward moments at work.

[DynamoNED]

I guess I'm in a bit of a unique position being a public school teacher, but I have to be particularly cautious who I friend and what I say on Facebook. I've known teachers who were dismissed for the merest hint of impropriety on social networking sites, even when the offending posts or pictures were entirely innocent. Thus, I'm slightly paranoid about it. :suspicious:

Thus, my Facebook policy is as follows:
*If you are one of my students, I will NOT friend you until you graduate high school AND turn 18. It's nothing personal; it's just me maintaining professional distance.
*If you are one of my colleagues, I will friend you if we collaborate professionally AND are friends personally. Otherwise, I probably won't friend you.
*If you are a personal friend or family, I will friend you, but I ask that you please REFRAIN from tagging me in photos or posts unless you ask me first. While I don't anticipate anything untoward, I'd rather have a system in place rather than be surprised later.

That's my policy; it's a little strict, but I'd rather avoid dismissal over an errant Facebook post.

[Munty]

Sounds very sensible, teaching is certainly one of the easiest to get caught out in (even if it's entirely innocent as you say) I think the difference is you have eyes of parents and students on you waiting for a mistake rather tahn say an office or industry worker who can usually depend on their colleagues not really caring unless it passes a certain point and bosses usually either not checking such things or not deeming it necessary to raise discipline over. Unfortunately where children and other vulnerables are involved the authority (boss, board of governors whatever) MUST be seen to take action or the difficulty will be passed right on to them.

It must be the only situation in which the sht rolls uphill :p

[crenn]

I have none of these problems... I've never had a facebook account, and the sad thing is, I know I'll have pictures and such like on facebook. Even sader is when I get emails inviting me to join facebook, how much data they have on who I know even though I've never looked at the site.

[DynamoNED]

@Munty: You've pretty much hit the nail on the head and have identified the problem. Rather than assume the teacher knows what they are doing and is generally morally upstanding as in the days of old, parents & administrators place teachers under the microscope looking for the most minute of imperfections in a Quixotic crusade for "teacher accountability." This means I have to abstain from even the appearance of anything improper, just to be considered acceptable. That's why I have such a strict Facebook policy, and while it's effective, it is, well, restrictive.